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How to stop being so hard on yourself

Hard work work pays off. Nothing good comes easy. Hustle hard. Those are the stations that are programmed into our heads. And yes, I cannot deny that 'things" are produced with hard work, but where do we draw the line? At the point that our health is affected, or our spouses and children feel abandoned, or that our energy is so low that we binge on caffeine and sugar, then can't sleep as a result of it. Jeeez, it stresses me out just thinking about it!

I have always been in love with work and production of ideas. Maybe because I have often followed my heart with my pursuits. But, soon after following my heart, I habitually began to incorporate my mind into the process and this is where the often unneccessary thinking, controlling and over-working comes into play.

So, am I correct to believe that when we are in the "flow" or on the path that has been purposed for us, things should be easy, right? I mean as a Christian and Spiritualist, Jesus says in Matthew 11:30, "my yoke is easy and my burden is light". "Also, Do not worry about tomorrow, tomorrow has enough problems of it's own". Moreover, as a universal spiritualist, things should be effortless and easy, and we should simply live in the moment, letting the path of the process work its magic and create it's art in our lives and for the world.

So why is it so hard to do this? Well I can write a book on how our ego wants to protect us from danger and failure so it drives us to work like slaves and consequently miss out on life. But this is a blog, so I will keep it simple.


I was up late one night working on something on my computer and my husband asked me why I could not enjoy the evening with him and my son. I ranted, something to the tune of: "because I have shit to do. And this is how I have been so successful - late nights and hard work. I love what I do! Get off my back".

And he pretty much replied. "No Jacinda, you are on your own back". I am simply inviting you to enjoy your evening with your family". Then he went on to paint a picture with a question. He said, "what if I ordered you to stay up late, do not sleep, do not pay any attention to your son, and finish this ASAP. You cannot enjoy yourself until it's done". He asked me how would it sound coming from him? And THAT really resognated for me.

I said, "I would be pissed! I would feel as if you were a rude, slave driver who cared nothing about my well being, or how important my family, my son, my health and sleep are to me". And probably would fall out of love with you. Because I would know for sure that you could not possibly love me, if you could treat me in that manner.

SO! Are you catching on here? When we are hard on ourselves, we are NOT being loving to ourselves, and soon we will fall OUT of love with ourselves. This is where all of that heavy stuff exist like low-self worth, depression, anxiety, worry, guilt and shame lurk. It happens because we can no longer trust the process, because we have put so much trust into our own limited understanding, rather than our creative intuition. We are unable to trust or even know what easy - is. We are so depleted of physical and creative energy, that it becomes almost impossible to lift a finger or raise a thought of being physically or mentally healthy.

Calling all perfectionist and judgers of self, the next time you find yourself "doing more work" when you can be "doing a more life" imagine someone else asking this of you. If you want to tell them them to go to hell, then that means that you need to stop, relax and chill, because you my friend, are being too hard on yourself. If you truly believe that what you have is a gift from that which is greater than you, then you should know for sure that it is going to work out successfully with your legs kicked back, and enjoying the ride!

Nexts Steps to lightening up:

As health coach, help woman transform their bodies and boot their energy without it getting getting in the wy of their busy lives. So call me today to book break-through session, so that we can figure out whats stopping you, slowing you down or getting in the way of you having the body and stress free life style that you want!

Call me NOW! 844-523-3663

Annnnnd, have fun! Book a pole or Silks Movement class: (Try our 3 for $30)

To your wellness,

Jacinda Haines

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